Monday
Up bright and early, so that I could be in the office before Singapore goes to bed. I was putting the finishing touches to my Powerpoint presentation on the train, when without warning the man sitting opposite struck me on the side of the head with a rolled up newspaper. When I remonstrated with him, he span me some cock and bull story about how he had seen a bee on my head. I don’t know why we bother to pay our taxes, when thugs and hooligans can assault us at any time, even first thing in the morning on a crowded train.
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People like that should be firmly, but kindly, encouraged to commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteNo need to go that far. Force-feeding him his own iPod ought to teach him a lesson.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I love this blog and have followed it religiously almost since its inception. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteSilly salesman. Singapore never sleeps!
ReplyDeleteThat man was Harry Hutton and he's a cnut.
ReplyDeleteI am deeply concerned for the bee. People who kill bees are killing the planet because without bees nothing grows and we will all die. Bee killers must be prevented from killing and given prison sentences in spaces where bees cannot get. Next time you see this horrible man please make a citizens arrest, in the name of the world.
ReplyDeleteIf you are traveling on the Northern Line around the Elephant & Castle at about 11.45pm, I suggest you carry a knife as there is a nutter about brandashing a rolled up paper concealing a gun!
ReplyDeleteIf you were to simply carry your samurai sword or a .38 Special, such things would not happen.
ReplyDeleteAn armed society is a polite society.
An armed society is a polite society?
ReplyDeleteThey must have fucking brilliant manners in Kabul then.
I gotta hand it to ya, Harry; you're one hilarious motherfucker. And you're infinitely more industrious than you let on. Keep up the good work, my good man.
ReplyDeleteI feel a strange kinship with you, Blenkinsop. Your posts: but two.
ReplyDeleteYour existence: precarious.